Has your husband been to see a therapist? He may have a condition that makes it difficult to regulate his emotions (ADHD, for example)... Or he could also see a regular doctor to rule out something like low blood sugars or other physical issue. Or he could be an alcoholic/drug addict. If a person drinks or takes drugs and becomes emotionally abusive, that is still abuse. If this is what you mean by saying “he doesn’t mean to” abuse you, it doesn’t matter. It is still abuse. No excuses: The science behind what’s said while drunk

Hang in there, hon! *huggles*

Also, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask a therapist if s/he can take payments. I’ve asked before.