What your father did to you was brutal, and your step mother's reply was horrific no matter what she thought had happened! And to use combat skills he had learned in the military on his daughter bc he was angry, that's really grave.

I can relate to realizing new aspects of an abusive situation, and then have all the force of PTSD wash back over you. It doesn't really take much either. And I too believe it doesn't ever go away completely. I'm thinking that something that had you so traumatized that you got PTSD impacts you too deeply for it to ever go away. Just like a scar never goes away. But that you can have good periods, and that the bad times are less bad...

And those therapists... They shouldn't have that kind of job! You'd think that people trained in psychology and treating PTSD patients know it's not possible to "just get over it". It's hard to get help that actually helps.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. It's just so incredibly unfair, that not only are you hurt in a given situation and then it's over, but that you keep experiencing the feelings you had over and over and over, and how it affects so many parts of your life. They don't only hurt you then and there, they also take away everything that was supposed to feel good for years to come. All the experiences you were supposed to have, but that you didn't because you were lying in bed, or on the bathroom floor too exhausted to stand up. They steal your life. And not a lot of people seem to understand that.

I don't know if any of this made any sense.. But I care. You matter, your feelings matter, your life matters. I don't know if you manage to feel it for yourself, but you are so precious! And you deserve so much better that what you have been given.