Thank you ALL very much for understanding. It's an odd thing about me - odd to me myself - that I don't feel justified in setting mini-boundaries. I am so cued in to battling big things that I devalue for myself the relationship building important of standing up and being visible.

It's the impact on me internally of standing up for myself that is important: it changes my openness and energy towards the other person. Like I've had my say, then I can focus back on them properly rather than just pretending. Also being responsive about how I feel in the moment rather than rigid rules about things.

It's a subtle shifting back of responsibility - and I find myself struggling to do this on all fronts - business and personal.

Problem is that internally I think "not such a big deal". No it's not a big deal but the accumulation of petty stuff that I suck up is a big deal. Not each individual event, but my stupid attitude that I have to pretend to be ok when I'm not because I'm only "allowed" to make a fuss if it's a life-threatening emergency.

If I don't listen to my self, how do I suppose that other people will ever hear me? Answers to self on a postcard...
Thanks for getting it. Not all of me gets it myself... yet!