Sorry if I offended you TishaBuv. I'm currently away from my computer. I could write more ideas to help later if you like or dial it back to a hug or leave your thread be entirely if you prefer. Just let me know.

For what's it's worth, I don't think you are "the problem" or "wrong" or any such thing. You are a human struggling with some problems like me and all the other humans!!!

Peace to you and a big safe hug!