okay fine you at least said the right thing eventually about this being not logical or rational and it being scary
I did kind of have to guide you there, but whatever. Thank you.

I wanted to say yes to increasing sessions for the next few weeks, but I really don't think I could make that work time wise. Taking part of the afternoon off two times a week is already a lot. I wish you worked weekends...

I guess I was kind of stupidly hoping you'd text me or something at the end of the day. Are you just going to put me out of your mind until Friday? "oh, good, you're still alive"

I wish I knew if I was allowed to have anything more than this right now. It wouldn't even have to be forever. I wouldn't expect it to be. Just until I get the treatment. Can I please just send you one text? Can I ask you for reassurance that you care, a text that will be there every time I need to check to reassure myself?
Remember back in the summer/fall near the end of the IOP and when there was the private practice insurance stuff and I wasn't seeing you and you would call me about updates on the insurance and scheduling stuff? You'd ask how I was doing and it sounded like you cared. I'd never admit this, but there were a few times it was late in the evening, I assume after your last session, and you ended the call with "goodnight" and it felt weirdly intimate and comforting.
I really really want that right now.