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Old Mar 21, 2008, 02:16 PM
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Cyran0 Cyran0 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,464
LMo, I'm sorry your relationship is going through this phase. But it sounds to me like that's what it is, a phase. As the father of three, I can say that I've had wildly different reactions to pregnancy each time. And I wont lie to you, I had periods where the pregnancy put me off from sex but much more common was a sort of fear or uncertainty about what my wife was going through. There's also weird nonsensical images that pop into a guys head in which the penis hits the baby or something like that. Totally impossible but the point is, pregnancy is a real head trip for a guy. For a period of time, this beautiful woman we had seen as our sexual partner, was now something different. A mother to be. Sexual organs were being repurposed to deliver a child into the world. And like it or not, for a time it's necessary to reframe our view of this woman and her body.

It does surprise me that he's not responding to your advances (funny how that always shuts down my own worries) but everyone is different.

About a year after the baby is born things usually return to normal (it takes that long because everyone's exhausted from late night feedings and what not) so I would encourage patience and continued communication with your husband.

Also, if "other things" involves your hand, you might try lubrication (KY, Astroglide, etc.) as it can hurt otherwise.

Cyran0
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Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse.

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