Sometimes verbal abuse can be worse than physical abuse.

You said, "stupid, dumb, and selfish is the worst it gets." That is abuse!

You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to. You can leave the room, go outside, go for a walk, come back when both of you have had time to cool off, and hopefully, have a discussion about the issues, rather than name-calling. You might suggest that he get a therapist, too. I know that's more money, but if he has trouble controlling and/or expressing his anger, that's a red flag, imho.