I'm glad you see a therapist. I'm sorry you can't see her again until June 4th. Mine is like that, where there are big gaps in between. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is doing what is best for you. It sounds like he has his interests in mind, but doesn't care about you feeling awful about yourself. That's wrong, imho. I think you deserve better. It sounds like a pattern of him treating you badly, breaking up with you, and then making up with you. This sounds like an emotional roller-coaster from hell. I don't think you need that stress. I think you deserve to find someone who treats you better and doesn't keep making you feel awful about yourself. That's not real love. That sounds like control. HUGS Kit