Thanks for challenging me,
I think I know what you are trying to say. Nobody is a mind reader and I should not expect my T to know how I feel just like that neither should I make assumption in interpreting her silence. The key should be an open and honest coversation but what if this is the inability to do so is the problem itself? I don't fully agree with you because the situation that I described has a 5 year context which should not be neglected. it wasn't too strangers trying to reach each others minds, She probably recognises some pattersn of my behaviour and should have responded in a more more empathic way.
1. I cannot know what was inside her head unless she tells me but communication is more than the words people use, there are a lot of non verbal clues and mainly context. I never said she must have thought all those thoughts but this is how her behavious made me FEEL, this is how I reacted to it. she wasnt maintaing eye contact, looked impatient and was rushed to finish before time was up. Even after I said I don't think I can bring myself to talk anymore there was no prompting just a quick: 'so when are we meeting next'. A very cold reaction. Towards the end I muttered " i cant do it' and she asked if I want to have the next session at all. Isnt this a massive overreaction on her side? I don't understand what she was trying to prove with her firmness but all I can think of (again my intepratation only) that it was a power struggle. I can't imagine that with so many emails she really had no clue what was going on, and even if she didn't there are better ways to react eg. ASK a question. My point is that I asked in emails for her to initiate the conversation and repeadly wrote how difficult it is for me to open up about our relatioship for a few weeks in a row so this is not that difficult to figure out.

2. I think I answered this in the first question. I wrote many emails soon after previous sessions to express my disappoitment with not being able to talk our relationship through. Even if she didn't know what I was directly reacting to on Monday there were still more than enough clues to at least be more curiuous and any question. Silence can be very poweful if you get stuck.

3. This is an option too... but if so it wasn't very helfpul to me. I have no idea where to start next week. Writing another email seems counterproductive and I worry it will not be mentioned at all. Its also strange because I FEEL like I crossed some kind of line. I wrote a couple of emails since our session and as far as I know she has not read them. She always checked all my messages before.

Am I being too defensive? I suppose i won't know the answers unless we talk about it next week. Not sure if I can make it happen!