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Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
Of course difficult emotions are the nature of the work, I wasn't disagreeing with that. I was reacting against the blithe suggestion that the ending of a significant relationship can be neatly tied up, understood and filed away as "oh well, one of life's experiences".
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I'm surprised that you read such a suggestion out of my post because honestly, I did not put anything like that into my writing. My post had no hidden meanings and I wrote exactly what I thought and as far as I know, I did not express such a suggestion (it wouldn't even cross my mind). I was just trying to point out something to the OP and leaving it completely up to him whether he finds it useful or not.
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... After having typed that, I am wondering whether that was actually the tone of your posting. I suspect that my critical voice might be projecting something onto your posting: that I should be better at therapy, have made more progress, be closer to being a person who can tidy, understand, file away. Huh. Anyway, I am leaving what I have typed with acknowledgement that it could be a misfire.
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Could be, but that's ok. I, for one, am not a tidy person in therapy - I think I have raged more in my sessions then many people in this forum altogether. In that sense, the OP's rants are understandable to me, I believe. But having fully expressed all sorts of unreasonable feelings and expectations and experienced my T survive them explaining as much as he has felt necessary and definitely not submitting to me has somehow enabled me to reach a sort of calm I hardly imagine I otherwise would have obtained.