Recently, someone who abused me as a child attempted contact with me. Since then, I've been a mess. It's been a week, I even went to therapy, and I don't feel any better. I'm feeling myself fall apart but am powerless to stop it.

It kills me, that I'm just as much of a POS as what I was taught to be. What? I couldn't fight it and become a better person? No, I had to become a ****ing bastard who has no right to complain. I've dug this hole. This is my fault.

If I really cared about people, I wouldn't put them through this ****. I'm a selfish *****.