So today went awful until lunch, then got a lot better.

tonight i couldnt sleep. 1. because i quitted my meds and 2. because the neighbors (?) had been talking loudly until 2.30am. i got to sleep less than an hour and then heard them back talking. they were not really loud but i couldnt ignore them. all the while i was thinking about the session with my T, about texting my exT and slowly the whole body started aching. ok, maybe my stomach was inflammed because of alcohol and something i ate for dinner but all the rest? just irritability because i couldnt sleep??? my head was aching, my muscles and bones too, and my stomach was aching especially. i was feeling as if i had got temperature but i didnt. i was feeling cold, hot, cold again but sweating at the same time it was not pleasant at all.

then i took an anti inflammatory med and it got better but still i was unable to sleep until about 5am and then i woke up at 6.55 am. all in all i got to sleep a bit more than 2 hours during the whole night after having slept about 5 hrs the night before. i was exhausted. while i couldnt sleep i was trying to decide whether to go to work in the morning or not, but i didnt know how to warn who and how to get the illness document from the doc because i couldnt feel like i could get up and go to him at all...

instead when i did wake up i was feeling a little better and decided to go to work and maybe ask to work a little less in the evening. work went quite ok. i got to hear from P by text (he's still ill) and i also contacted my exT who heartwarmed my heart like only He can do. at lunch break i explained my supervisors my difficulties and they let me stay home for the whole afternoon! wow!

i found a nice parking lot, i heard my mom on the phone to vent a bit and then had lunch, took another shower and cooked for tomorrow. i realized the tick bite is still red so i decided to go take the blood work tomorrow morning to see if that could be the cause of the aches. so tonight im going to have dinner and sleep at my parents (its closer to the blood work building) and hopefully i'll get to sleep a better night (trying some other sleeping pills). tomorrow morning early i'll take the blood work and then will go to work and then the week will finally be over! cant wait evem though sat or sunday we'll celebrate my brother's bday and we'll likely stay out of home the whole day so…. tiring!!!!!

today, during the rest of the time i got to write a short letter with brief thoughts for my next appt with exT and now im going to write another letter for T when i see her next week.

i already knew that stopping those meds i would have strong troubles sleeping, but im determined not to go back and try something else instead. hoping they will work… at this point i only hope for a good night sleep….