Quote:
Originally Posted by mindmechanic
What's making me feel disoriented is that I she moved for her grandchild - he was supposedly the determining factor.
What's making me feel disoriented, too, is how it was only less than a month ago when she told me to know that if she does stay there, it would be because of her grandchild.
It feels like empty promises. Empty reassurances. How can I trust her words anymore? If she didn't say that and say it so confidently and reassuringly while looking me in the eyes, it wouldn't feel so hurtful, disorienting, and as though it's a betrayal. She said that she thought a great deal about her patients in her decision. I don't see us in her decision? If she at least tried to honor part of the one year's notice, it wouldn't feel so disorienting.
What's so disorienting to me and giving me a panic attack is how her words don't add up to reality and her decisions. How to trust her?
It just feels disorienting when she said so confidently and reassuringly while looking at me in the eyes last year that she would return for one year if she decides to stay in that city permanently. I believed her. But it seemed like an empty promise because she isn't even trying to honor it to some extent. Her words don't match her actions and decisions. That's what's disorienting to me.
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Disorienting signals a trigger. This seems like such a trigger for you-when someone seems deceptive, words don't match actions, distorting reality so to speak?
I recognize it as similar things are a huge PTSD trigger for me. When someone distorts reality or acts crazy or does senseless things, it signals 'danger' to me. Deception is the worst trigger for me of them all. Having concluded that and explored the trauma behind the triggers, I now recognize such things are about my past and things are kept under control.
I'm sorry you feel disoriented and betrayed. I, too, would be wondering if she purposely deceived me though I'd think her intentions were good (as opposed those those who traumatized me).
It could be that she was undecided before, but now, she weighed the pros and cons and made a different decision. However, some Ts don't disclose leaving or retiring so their clients don't quit on them leading to loss of income. Maybe this doesn't impact her situation, but in general, it's not unreasonable to suspect as it happens all the time.
Sorry things are rough. I agree with those who say now is the time perhaps to find a new T.