I'm sorry your one son's distance is hurting you. It seems to me that there is no fault on either side. You are clearly a mother that loves frequent contact with those she loves. He, unlike his brother, likely is a bit more to himself and everything immediately around him. We're all different in this world. I know that many many people are constantly texting others, while others are quiet as if they've fallen off the face of the earth.

My family and I all love each other a great deal, but compared to many other families, we contact each other very little. Here are a few of short stories from the past to the present.

* When I went off to college, I almost never called my parents. My mother called me about once per week to arrange a Saturday or Sunday "lunch together". My college was about 50 mins car drive from my parent's home. My mom loved to have an excuse to get away from my father and enjoy a few hours with me. I enjoyed it, too, but I didn't think about her or anyone else in my family much at all any other time during the week. My dad rarely visited. I did see him on holidays and summer break. No one had any cell phones back in the early 1990s, so there was no texting. I didn't even have a computer during college.

* One summer, my mom was kind enough to pay for a round-trip ticket for me to go to Europe to teach English. That was so kind of her. When I got to my destination in Poland, the program director said we can all call our families from their office phone. I don't even believe I called my parents for the whole entire month. I wasn't thinking about them at all. Actually, I think the only time I did think about them was when my roommate "Joy" received a frantic call from her mother basically saying "You didn't call me this week!" The mother apparently thought Joy might be in some big danger. Meanwhile, my parents were likely not even thinking about me. Does that mean my parents didn't love me as much as Joy's did her? No. That didn't mean I loved my parents less than Joy did hers.

* I moved to CA from NJ with my first love. I don't remember how much I called my mother. I didn't have a cell phone back then either. I did call her occasionally. Maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks? I don't remember.

* I lived in Taiwan for about a year. I didn't call my parents much at all. When I did, I was usually only doing so because of sickness or a major holiday. When I was well, I didn't so much. They figured that if I was dead they'd eventually find out. When I did contact them, if they had wanted more contact I would have made more of an effort. But they focused on their things, and I focused on mine. Believe me that I didn't tell them A LOT! They didn't need to know.

* Unfortunately, my family lost my mother 15 years ago. I love my dad and siblings, but I probably touch base with them by phone once every three weeks or even less. I do email my sister a couple times per week. That's it. I'm not into texting and don't share everything about my life. I love them all, though.

If your son's distance really hurts you, can you ask for a compromise on the contact frequency?

Note: I am a female. I was in my late teens through mid 20s during college through my time in Taiwan. My parents didn't really worry about me, like many parents worry about their children nowadays. Yes, we were different than other people. Yes, it was a different time, though I don't believe it was any more of a dangerous time. I actually appreciated my parents' hands-off approach.