For me, yes, accepting the disappointment was an essential part of what I feel can and should have been a part of therapy from way back. . .Instead, the therapists acted out, as well as me -- I take no responsibility for acting out back then, because I did not have response-ability. The responses were largely dissociated or unconscious. Perhaps the therapists didn't have response-ability either -- then, in my book, still they shouldn't have been therapists. But the therapy profession takes no responsibility (different word, that's a topic for another thread, maybe) for training and monitoring and getting feedback and demanding accountability of those in the profession. There may be some decent T's out there, I expect there are. But I'm not going to try another. Maybe because, finally, I don't need to -- having experienced and tolerated and gone through the unbearable, seemingly unending pain and rejection and abandonment and aloneness? I can do it, I know what to look out for, somewhat, now.

Going through frustration, anger, and eventually disappointment has allowed me to accept a whole complex of things in me that were largely closed off, because frustration, anger, and disappointment were dangerous or "disallowed" in my family of origin. So -- maybe it's a good thing I finally experienced it? Except for the years and years of disorientation and confusion and panic and etc., etc.

More than 55 years in therapy, on and off, to get to that result? There's got to be a better way.

But since, here you are -- disappointed, abandoned, and betrayed, if I read you right, after 5 years with this therapist -- seems to me that you might as well take advantage of this blankety-blank situation, stick through it as best you can and deal with it. You can always try another therapist for some specific issues and not another long-term therapy, necessarily, if you want to try that.