I have collected SSDI for about 8 years plus, and definitely dream of someday getting off. Right now I'm still not there. I even try to add a volunteer job for a few hours per week and I sometimes have trouble getting there reliably. I do know that SSDI does feel like a jail of sorts. The fear of losing benefits and not succeeding at a job is so real. And not just for me, but for my husband. No, he's not on disability. He works full time. But he depends on my disability checks to help pay the bills. Sometimes he discourages some of my desired "steps forward" more than I feel discouraged myself. And then when I fail at even "safe thing", like volunteering, my confidence in myself is lessened more and more.