I know there are many things about me that are due to mental illness and/or maladaptive behavior. My "attainment seeking" (in my words) behavior is also one of them. It's how my parents think and how I was taught to think. I do not think like my parents for the most part but after all I am only a human and as I still live with my broken parents I have to at least for some part "think like them."

Back to the maladaptive behavior, it's one of the things I know but I've planned to change it after I become independent.