View Single Post
 
Old May 24, 2019, 12:12 PM
mindmechanic mindmechanic is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 393
The therapist is right now trying to pathologize my feeling betrayed as stemming from my childhood. This only makes my feelings feel more invalidated. I'm not unreasonable, woman.

If she said, "I have the intention of giving my patients one year's notice, but circumstances may not allow for me to do that," I wouldn't feel betrayed if she ended up moving without giving us a year's notice. I would feel sad by her moving, but I wouldn't feel betrayed.

If she had said, "Maybe I'll come to find reasons to stay in xxxxxx. I don't know the future. But I am committed to our work wherever I end up," I wouldn't feel betrayed if she ended up staying in xxxxxx. I would feel sad by her not returning, but I wouldn't feel betrayed.

If she cannot acknowledge how her delivery and words contribute to my feeling betrayed, and instead pathologizes it as stemming from my childhood, then it would be very easy for me to fire her as my therapist. Generally, I feel that if therapists genuinely made a lapse or mistake - because hey, they're human after all - it's important for them to acknowledge it. If they cannot acknowledge it maybe because they're prideful, blind, or for whatever reason, yeah, that makes me uncomfortable. It's so easy to put a patient's negative feelings as originating from the patient's past and childhood. But before pathologizing, it's important to acknowledge if part of the negative feelings come from something present in the interaction independent of the patient's past or childhood. Just because the patient feels betrayed doesn't mean that all their feelings of betrayal that they experience come from the past. That's a messed up way to look at things.
Hugs from:
here today, SlumberKitty, unaluna