Quote:
Originally Posted by mindmechanic
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ETA: Here's the deal. When I said to her, "The longer you stay in xxxxxx, the more reasons you have to stay there and not return," she said, "I'm not like that." She said it so confidently. If she had said, "I don't know the future. Maybe I'll find more reasons to stay there. Maybe I won't. I don't know the future. But I remain committed to our work wherever I end up," I wouldn't feel as betrayed. She portrayed herself so confidently in certain way, but didn't live up to it. Of course I feel betrayed. If she didn't say "I'm not like that," I wouldn't feel as betrayed. I would feel sad, but I wouldn't feel this hurt and betrayed. Because as it turns out, she was, indeed, "like that."
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How frustrating! You intuited, or knew, what she was like more than she knew herself!!
I suspect that most schizoids would find that somewhat incomprehensible? I sort of do, too. My late husband was schizoid. I don't think I am but I think I probably would have qualified for OCPD before I fell apart, and there are some similarities. My late husband and I understood the world pretty much the same way, and pretty much different from the way most other people seemed to understand it.
Sounds like your T presented herself to you as someone she wanted or thought herself to be, rather than who she actually was? Guess she may not have really known herself, either? But I disagree with the others -- I think she did have an obligation to follow through on her word and commitment to her clients. You can't make her do it, and if she's the kind of person who would do what she's done -- and apparently she is -- there's nothing you can do about it. Except change your view of her to be more in line with who she now has revealed herself to be. Some good, and some very not-so-good. Frustrating, and disappointing, for sure.