Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
How frustrating! You intuited, or knew, what she was like more than she knew herself!!
I suspect that most schizoids would find that somewhat incomprehensible? I sort of do, too. My late husband was schizoid. I don't think I am but I think I probably would have qualified for OCPD before I fell apart, and there are some similarities. My late husband and I understood the world pretty much the same way, and pretty much different from the way most other people seemed to understand it.
Sounds like your T presented herself to you as someone she wanted or thought herself to be, rather than who she actually was? Guess she may not have really known herself, either? But I disagree with the others -- I think she did have an obligation to follow through on her word and commitment to her clients. You can't make her do it, and if she's the kind of person who would do what she's done -- and apparently she is -- there's nothing you can do about it. Except change your view of her to be more in line with who she now has revealed herself to be. Some good, and some very not-so-good. Frustrating, and disappointing, for sure.
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I don't know why she made those statements so confidently. I don't know if she was trying to be comforting in the moment and lost sight of reality. If so, I appreciate her kindness, but I'd rather her speak truthfully and realistically. I prefer the truth even if the truth hurts. Because empty promises that comfort in the moment only ends up hurting more when I find out that it's not true.
I don't expect her to keep her promise if circumstances don't allow her to. But when she said that she'd give her patients one year's notice, it sounded like it came from a very sincere and principled place within her. Even if she decides to stay in xxxxxx permanently, if her grandson no longer needs her care, I wonder if it's reasonable to "expect" - may be too strong of a word - her to honor the one year's notice. Because she couldn't keep her promise the first time due to circumstances. If circumstances now allow it, would she find way to honor it now?