Quote:
Originally Posted by mindmechanic
@ PurpleMirrors3 . . .
To top this off, she said that I want from her more than she can give. Way to go in twisting it around, woman. I do NOT want from her more than what she cannot give. When she made those two bold promises, she created an expectation from her in me. When she couldn't follow through with those promises, of course I feel let down or betrayed. After all, she created those expectations with her promises. And because she said it so sincerely, it came across as a principled intention from within her. This is why I still wonder now, even if she decides to stay in xxxxxx permanently, if her grandson no longer needs her care, would she honor what she promised but could not fulfill the first time because circumstances wouldn't allow it then? If circumstances allow it now, would she go back and honor it? She created this expectation. Now she's pathologizing it and saying that I want from her is pathologically more than she can give. Be reasonable with me now, woman. |
She cannot give you the commitment that she made, the two bold promises that she will not keep. She cannot give you what you expect from her, expectations that she created in you with her (false) sincerity. She is defensive, she is fixed on her plan to do what she wants, despite the commitment she made to you (and possibly others), so being reasonable takes a back seat to defending herself and deflecting her responsibility by pathologizing you. She cannot do otherwise -- she is morally ill. This is considered "normal" by many. It's not a problem for them.
I think I can understand why you feel like you want to continue therapy with this person -- she promised a lot, she presented a lot, you fell for the image -- I have done the same thing, over and over.
But, given what now seems to be the case about the way this person is, it sounds to me like she may very well not want to continue therapy with you, and if you want that from her then she doesn't have it and is not very willing to try, despite the effect on you.
