what is the point in posting about my suffering? perhaps because I want to feel validated over the internet. I suppose that's it, or because I may be suffering so much it's hard to keep it inside. I don't really pity myself, I pity my lack of opportunities and experiences. regardless of how I may be feeling, it will pass. in some time, or another. I will have to remember that.
I seem to be sailing and floating away from my life. hard to believe I'm still getting out of bed every day. my loneliness and depressive episodes seem to be getting worse. every day passes me by, and I remain alone. Abandonment seems definite... and I wonder how long it'll be before I really crash.