Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden
But as she points out I havenīt had work for several years and that I havenīt had a relationship I begin to doubt myself and blame myself for feeling I donīt "click" with her.
|
Sweeping decrees about my failings and shortcomings have never helped me. I know many of them. It doesn't help me problem solve.
I've achieved some goals by determining them, breaking them down into steps,deciding additional tools and knowledge I needed and reverse engineering traits in people I felt effective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
Your thinking seems really distorted to me, and your interpretations serve to push others away and keep your distance.
|
This exemplifies "advice giving" I find negative. First, every being has moments of fear-based irrationality. I'd find it intrusive for another person condemning me, particularly about such a core issue.
Thankfully a few mentors gently
guided me to recognize myself in moments trapped by restricting emotions.
It's been a long process emerging from my young adult anxiety. Motivation came from dreams for accomplishment. The scolds only reinforced a hurtful framework where I felt beholden to others.