Yes, having him there, with me showing up to augment his care is an option. I will be looking hard at that option. It worked pretty well 3 years ago, when we did it for 3 full months - to qualify for institutional Medicaid (which qualification he never loses.) I lived in my place that I got all nicely organized. I brought him there every Sunday for dinner and a movie.

His dementia was much less advanced, and he could advocate for himself . . . which, BTW, he did very effectively, when he got sick of an obnoxious roommate and spotted an empty bed down another hall. He now has worsening aphasia and often can't say what he wants. Tie that together with staff who are speaking English as a second language, and they just talk past each other. The isolation it produces for the nursing home resident is just so sad. The resident gives up trying.

Yes, I know too much . . . way too much. And - here's what really kills me - I remember when and where it was better. I spent 9 years in 2 not-for-profit nursing homes (1 run by religious and located nearby . . . . . . gone now.) Were it there still, my boyfriend would be in it. It wasn't swanky. Most residents were there on Medicaid. But it was quite alright. The day I went to see if I might like to apply for a position, I found the Director of Nurses, a nun in white, kneeling in front of a man with his bare feet in her hands. That's gone . . . . . . vanished. We have more regulations. But things are worse. And we pay so much more for it, we tax payers.