I just want to go hide someplace and cry. I want a hug for T which I know can never happen in this lifetime. For the last 18 years May has been excruciatingly painful. I miss my mom. Tbalsways understood and I could email her. She was able to comfort me and not make me feel pathetic. To lose T at the beginning on June still seems like a nightmare that I keep trying to wake up from.

Emdr T is wonderful and we have accomplished a lot. I trust her when I am in that office. I wish I could email her just for some reasurance that I am not so pathetic. I can only text or call. I cant do that on a weekend then I would be totally pathetic.