Hi all,
I joined PsychCentral so I can get clarity on my sexuality. It's been the biggest issue in my life: am I straight, bi or gay?

I was sexualized early by my older sister. Then when I was in college, I regularly met up a guy 10 yrs older than me, to receive oral sex. I dated mostly women, and got married when I was 36. My wife knew I was bi, and I had a part time bf for a few yrs when I was married.

I got divorced after 5 yrs, moved to San Francisco, & came out as gay! But after 5 yrs, I realized I still liked women, and preferred a heterosexual social circle. I've done therapy with about 6 different therapists, always on the issue of my sexuality. I expressed my gay side through monthly anonymous hookups, and phone sex.

A yr ago, I started attending Sex Addicts Anonymous. I've been abstinent from sex with men for 6 months. I no longer visit online hookup sites. My intuition is that it's best for me to focus on women, because women are more relationship oriented, which is what I want. I also like the yin/yang aspect of being with a woman, as opposed to the yang/yang of being with another guy. I've found it difficult or impossible to find a quality guy for a part time relationship, which I was searching for. Yet I still get turned on by guys on the street or in the locker room.... tho w another guy, it never seems to go anywhere other than heated sex. Men seem to be conditioned to not open their hearts to other guys.

This is me... I welcome any feedback!