This is a post that I've saved on Instagram because this child's letter to his/her parents has really resonated with me. The letter is in the second slide:

Merie.twitts on Instagram: “I wanna give this child a hug. Some people just don’t deserve kids🤦🏾*♀️”

It hurts to see children feeling guilty for mistakes and such that were either out of their control, couldn't be understood, or who else knows! I feel like I'm reading a letter that my childhood self is writing in order to understand the pain that is forming inside.

For example, because of this infliction over time, I'm still trying to "grow up" in this adult body that's developing without me with a mind of a broken young woman (I tried to describe accurately what I'm feeling ). It's a great struggle because I feel like I'm dragging my soul and mind through broken glass while trying to live AND while fixing the mess that's formed from my childhood but is continuing to grow. However, I have fulfilled some goals over time to improve myself, but most of those so-called achievements should be normal tasks of a growing adult, but since the words "dumb, clumsy, POS, etc." have been ingrained in my head for so long, I'm here believing every little thing is an accomplishment when in reality, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Things as small as filling up a gas tank or big like moving on-campus for uni, and I say this because I didn't expect to live past my 18th birthday (car accident that year plus suicidal thoughts)... While I'm typing this, I guess I kind of see a positive of recognizing my accomplishments since I'm a reserved, asocial person in general, and this helps me step out of my comfort zone. Unfortunately, these "accomplishments" are stemming from the thought of "Hey, this clumsy, dumb person can actually do something useful!", so it's not good at all.

All because of this, I wish I had a better relationship with my parents cause I don't know how to handle my hate and love towards them... that's all, and my heart goes out to all the little kids today who feel like this. I wish I could hug them all and tell them, "It's okay, it's not your fault. Here's what you need to do...".