Hello This. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the relationships forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer with regard to your experiences. I'm an old man now. And sexuality, in general, is something that went by the wayside for me many years ago. The one thing I know, since I've waged a life-long struggle with gender dysphoria, is that anything related to sexual orientation (or gender identity) can be endlessly confusing. Hopefully coming here to PC will be of help in coming to terms with your struggle.

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.