When there is so much knowledge about what went wrong with your mind and spirit there seems so little else to say. Don't fight this battle alone, let someone know what is happening! Let them steer the ship for once. I am not an expert, but I believe you know exactly what to do, but it doesn't seem logical right now. So ask a professional what he/she knows about the arguement of two selves and how they can co-exist. That realy is all you realy want, right? Good luck and please check in with us here at Psych Central often. Amen and good bye.