Anger is a part of the grieving process as well as sadness. We need to learn to release the anger in order to completely heal. But you are right, it is, oh, so hard and it does hurt like hell. Don't worry about what people say you are supposed to do or feel - you are you and you need to do what feels right to and for you. My T has been my lifesaver throughout all of this. I told him the analogy that he is in the liferaft and I am tossed overboard by a wave and he has thrown me the lifeline but the wind and tide keeps blowing it away from me so I have to swim in order to reach it so he can pull be back on the boat of life. I am still swimming, thanks to his wonderful, compassionate wisdom. Keep swimming for that lifeline - you will get there.