Hi,

I posted a while back about having to terminate with my T as a result of a combination of circumstances.

Since then I've had two temporary counsellors, for two months each. They were both nice helpful women, but only touched on the surface and it was more reassurance than challenging or questioning.

I have found a new T I want to work with. I've applied for a medical grant towards funding and I'm still waiting to hear back. It's fairly uncertain.

However I do feel that I'm beginning to slip. I'm having problems with eating enough, feeling anxious and overwhelmed by academic work, not feeling part of my foster family, getting angry with my boyfriend for no good reason.

I feel like I don't know what's going on inside my own head and what my currents of thoughts are, what's motivating me to act the way I act.

I feel like I lack the confidence to access and analyse my own thoughts sufficiently, and I don't have enough certainty in the decisions I take. I feel like I've grown smaller as a person.

I also miss my T horribly but don't know how to express that to anyone around me. Sometimes I want to write to her but then it seems pointless as I think I'll just feel pushed away as she understandably won't send me a lengthy reply.

I'm not sure what to do - how to bolster myself up again and survive on my own... does anyone have any similar experiences or thoughts?

xxx