It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in. You know that he has not behaved in an ethical manner and you're aware that he has been abusive towards you, so leaving would be the best option for you but you feel tied to him because he's the "best" doctor for your chronic condition. You're also worried about your repeated patterns of falling in love and feel guilty about it. Does that sound right?

None of this is your fault. All of those men behaved unprofessionally and exploited you. You've identified the patterns you repeat and how harmful they have been/continue to be, which is very insightful. You've also seen through you're Dr's charm and facade and you know what kind of a man he really is.

Knowing what you know about his narcissistic tenancies, how do you know that his reputation hasn't been created by himself? Anyone can write books and lecture. By setting himself up as the only dr who can help you, he's really tying you to him. He's making it look like it's you who's chasing him though, by going silent and therefore drawing you back in. It's a cycle. Check out "echoism" and see if it fits with your experience.

Therapy might help you to change your relating pattern. Find someone with a lot of experience, who works with transference. Make sure you feel comfortable with them. It's true that a lot of people in this sub forum are struggling with transference feelings but you have to bear in mind that most people will come onto a forum to post about their problems with therapy, there aren't that many threads about successes.

I hope things get better soon for you. x