Hello AleksK: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I don't think I would know what to suggest to you with regard to the aversion you have developed. I think this is, perhaps, something you'll need to seek mental health therapy for. I'm not a mental health professional. However there is a type of therapy called Exposure and Response Therapy that may, perhaps, be the type of therapy from which you could benefit. Here are links to 2 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that discuss exposure therapy:

What is Exposure Therapy?

Interoceptive Exposure for Treating Anxiety

Also, family therapist Kati Morton has a video on her YouTube channel on the subject of exposure therapy. Here's a link to that video:

YouTube

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.