Bonus question

I am left wondering why can't I have the career of my choice.

1) Medicine ruled out by personal doctors.
2) Engineering (programming especially) ruled out by fate.
3) Physics doctorate ruled out by impulsivity and fear of failure.

But on the positron (pun intended) side of things, I can still get a doctorate in chemistry and publish physical (related to the / of the field of physics) theories if I work hard enough in times where there seems no way out.

And even if I end up doing something I don't love, I won't regret it. As Silver and other members have pointed out, life is not a destination but a journey. I may, in the end, do what I should do and enjoy it and make a difference, a perfect combination.

Other than that, I am doing good. Thinking about things positively.