I am sorry your family treats you this way. Yelling, screaming and silence treatment aren’t acceptable.

Also please see a professional about your suicidal thoughts. Can you see a therapist?

Congrats on gettin into oxford.

Saying all that it’s a bit unusual applying for grad degree not knowing how you’ll pay for it. Many people get help from their parents through undergrad degree but when going to grad school people usually either take loans or pay gradually out of their pocket while working or rely on scholarships or grants.

Did you family agree to pay for it?

I also recommend you see career counselor at college to talk about future career prospects in the field of your choice. You don’t want to end up having hard time finding a job. What kind of career are you considering?