I think one has to remember that a lot of what we think and say are from our perspective and not True or False. There's always something positive/negative one can say in just about any situation and even though the positive/negative may/may not be true/false, one's heart & attitude says a lot. If you love someone and are trying to surprise them, asking them to ride along with you as you go to the fire hall to enquire about something, when you know everyone is there getting ready for a party for that person; it is only your special knowledge that makes you feel it is a lie; only that the other person does not know. One can feel sneaky withholding information but that's one's background/own issues getting in the way of giving someone else joy?

I remember when my husband asked me to marry him and I called my parents to tell them and my stepmother explained she already knew, my husband had gone to them and asked my father for my hand. I remember a small feeling of being cheated of other's deciding things for me and knowing things before I did, etc. But that was me and my background and my issue.

Likewise; not sharing with someone about one's mental health; that can feel bad because we wish we did not "have to" get out of the lunch, we wish we were straightforward. Remember, everything you do, you are doing the best you can! If it is not the best you can, then that is a problem you have to grapple with but usually we do what we do and cannot do any other (yet/at that time) or we would do the other? Looking back we can often see how we would have done things better but the truth is we are all doing the best we can with what we have right now. Maybe some day we will simply rejoice in the pleasure we think we will be giving someone else or we'll be able to say, "I don't feel well today, can I take a raincheck on lunch?" and reschedule without guilt. But guilt is good, it can help us look at the situation and our motives and what we're doing with our lives and see how we can do better or where we have opportunities for growth; how to figure out what we want and what that might look like?