You do sound like a very interesting person. Yes men are more visual, but they still want someone who is fun and interesting to be around. They get bored too.I dated a football player in college who was astonishingly good looking and a nice guy. But he was so boring that I just couldn’t go on with him. I like a sense of humor best. Men are still people tho biology does try to trick them into being instantly attracted to a gorgeous girl. Remember biology is trying to trick them into constantly procreating. But they’re people too.
You sound really shy. Practice starting conversations with men and drawing them out. Get them talking about themselves. Pretend its an Olympic sport and give yourself points for how many things you can learn about the person.
You are freaking out about something that is such a minor thing in attracting a guy that I wonder if you have issues about your appearance that go beyond just a lack of self esteem. Look on the various forums.
I am over 60, but men in their 40’s like me because I draw them out and encourage them. If you can do competitive sports, you can certainly master dating!