Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I was wondering how people felt about lying. Is it ever ok to lie? I am talking more about white and gray lies.
An example of a white lie would be someone is throwing your friend a surprise party and its your job to get the friend somewhere or throw them off the trail. You tell that friend you are going somewhere or doing something in order to get them to a certain place for the party. Or you have a friend who is trying to look good for a date and they are in an outfit that they really like. They ask you if they look ok and you are faced with sharing your opinion honestly or telling them that the outfit isn't flattering.
Gray lies are like self protection lies. You are having a bad depression day and are supposed to meet a friend for lunch. You do not think you can go without losing it so you call the friend and tell them you forgot about a prior obligation because you do not want them to know what is happening with your mental health. Or you are a newly sober alcoholic and a friend who isn't your best friend but is a good friend wants you to go to a bar to see a band. You do not want to tell them you are not ready to go to a bar due to the alcoholism so you say you have plans or are sick.
Or you have to get an abusive BF/GF/toxic friend to leave you alone. You tell them you have an uncle who is a cop and they will be looking into things or protecting you. These may not be the best examples and more examples are welcome.
It is very important for me to be honest but at the same time I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. And in certain cases saying "no" to something isnt enough and it requires a different answer but out of self preservation it has to be a lie- is that ok?
Is it ok to lie sometimes but not others? Do you think most people lie at least a little?
|
yes it is ok to lie. in fact schools and law enforcement are now teaching children how to lie. being able to lie is a matter of safety issues. and also part of being online...
lets put it this way is sarahsweets your real biological name or are you lying (using a made up name is called lying, pretending to be someone you are not is called lying..)
of course thats not your real name right. but for your safety and such you need to tell this lie.
my point is in every day life it is now acceptable to tell a lie. its just a matter of knowing when in your own lives you want to tell the truth and when you dont.
its normal for friends to lie instead of hurting their friends feelings. I mean come on who wants their best friend to walk up to them and say "that shirt looks like S....... on you."
its also normal for americans to not want to disclose their mental and physical challenges and to make some sort of excuse even if that excuse is a lie. in fact here in america we have privacy laws wrapped around the fact that its no ones business to know about whether someone is an alcoholic, or mentally disordered and such things. as a result of these privacy laws its perfectly acceptable and ok to tell someone an excuse/ lie if we dont want to disclose our mental and physical health problems.
lying to get someone to a surprise party of course thats ok. other wise human beings wouldnt have been doing that since the dawn of surprise parties. thats actually part of the necessity of a surprise party, or else what are you going to say .. hey come on I need to take you to your surprise party. " its not a surprise party if the person the party is for knows about it lol
as for lying because of abusive bf and so on, well thats all part of the abuse. abusers code is do not tell or else.....so the one being abused has no choice but to tell a lie when needed to cover up the abuse. its not the victims fault and they are not doing anything wrong by telling the lies they need to, in order to ensure their own survival and that of those that the abuser is threatening.