Hello HumptyDumpty,

so sorry you are struggling with mental health problems. I live with depression myself. May I ask why your wife's comment led you to believe she will never understand? Unless I missed a piece, it sounded to me like she was trying to empathize. My other half has made similar comments to me and I don't perceive his comments as indicating a lack of understanding. If there is something in particular that will help you, perhaps you could suggest for her to say that? Even write down a few comforting expressions for her and the next time you are really struggling, she'll know what to say so you feel less alone. What do you think?

Perhaps your wife has also had struggles in life which you cannot fully understand? Not because you don't care but simply because you are not her. I'm sure she has had sorrows and struggles too, right? It's not a perfect system but I often find that the more I try relating to others, the more they seem to relate to me. I wonder if that approach could help you? I also don't really need other people to understand me if that makes sense...what I need most is to understand myself.

Do you volunteer HumptyDumpty? There is a great deal of research indicating that people who help others (including people with chronic mental health problems) tend to feel better about themselves. Volunteers are always welcomed and appreciated. And you could head home afterward with a sense of accomplishment and gratitude that you had the opportunity to help someone else. That has really helped me with depression. You could start in small, manageable ways and build from there....even one hour a week may help you to view the world and yourself differently. You could find a cause you really care about and even invite your brother or wife to join you.

You said you have never known happiness and you don't miss it or want it so do you know what it is that you do want? You are still a young man at ~ 40....what would you like your life to be?

Wishing you peace and hope