Nobody knows how anti-depressants work. All theories are flawed. Serotonine Reuptake Inhibitors for example just work on an assumption. They are mostly so popular because they are much less habit-forming than some tranquilizers, like Valium, which make you really happy. I think they are less habit forming because they don't work so well. Medication which works is prone to have horrible side effects and withdrawal symptoms, and in that way, is no solution.

Maybe it's like chemotherapy and cancer - there can be many reasons to refuse to undergo it, but what a patient needs to refuse this kind of treatment is either a body which really cannot cope with the side effects, or a very strong will, fortitude, and luck.

I think, questioning your medication is a bold step in the right direction. You need to make up your mind. Some people, by the way, experience strong relieve from depression with magnesium supplements, which are terribly cheap, and very helpful in order to relax.