I have only had a couple of sessions so far but I have noticed that I sometimes find it difficult to stay focused/present and I’m not sure what’s going on.

I don’t sit directly in front of the therapist, I sit facing a wall and they sit in front and to the side of me so I can kind of see them in my peripheral vision or I have to turn my head to look at them directly.

When he’s talking I often find myself starring at the wall then my eyes start to go unfocused so everything appears out of focus/blurry and I guess I don’t feel much emotions at this point either. I do however feel anxiety/unease in my chest/stomach and sometimes tingling that spreads over my whole body prior and during this happening. It’s a really weird sort of zoned out/slightly spaced out feeling.

I am still aware a bit of what’s going on, like I know I’ve zoned out but I kind of feel like I'm stuck (kind of like in a trance state I guess) and I can hear him talking but I don’t think I really take in why he’s actually saying. I also notice him in my peripheral vision sometimes leaning round/forward as if to try and see what I’m looking at maybe or catch my eye. I don’t know but for some reason when I notice that it makes me really anxious as it seems like he’s looking at me suspiciously/wondering what I’m doing or maybe he’s wanting me to make eye contact again... (perhaps a bad way to put it but that’s kind of how it feels). When I notice him in my peripheral vision I kind or come out of it and will look at him for a few seconds if I can (I don’t make loads of eye contact as I find it difficult).

It happened a LOT last time (easily 10+ times). Almost each time I looked away from him I was zoning out again and I was having to really try and keep my eyes focused/moving to stop it from happening.

I don’t really understand why I can’t stay focused as I don’t think I have this problem in other areas of my life. I’m wondering if this is just me trying to block out things I don’t want to feel.

Either way it’s making me really uncomfortable because its weird to me that it happens in a split second and that I feel a bit out of touch when it happens.

When I left last session I felt dizzy, a little disconnected/on autopilot and my legs were like jelly for a good while afterwards which wasn’t great as I had to walk to town (not sure if this is related).

I feel like if it keeps happening it’s really going to affect the sessions.

Does this happen to anyone else and if so do you have any tips on staying in the session and not zoning out constantly?