Hi, I'm the daughter of a verbal abuser, and my husband is the son of a physical abuser. We both have codependent traits. I'm getting really frustrated because I can't seem to have a serious conversation with my spouse anymore. When I try to talk with him he gets defensive, crosses his arms, raises his voice, and tells me "No, no, no" no matter what it is. It doesn't matter if I use I statements or talk about my feelings. He even accused me of verbally abusing him when he couldn't relate to the grief I had when a relative died. How am I supposed to get through this marriage?