It does sound like your husband has issues (don't most of us). I am sure your situation is much different than mine and wouldn't want to come to any conclusions from a few threads though I do think there is a small possibility that when others (your husband and people at work) misbehave, you tend to ask yourself--what did I do to cause them to behave this way? Many times, it has nothing to do with us. That you react is human and understandable. Plus, couples can get in negative reinforcement cycles when we don't address what is bugging us in a forthrite way (not dismissing the other person's feelings even if we disagree).

I know there are narcissists in society that cause people everywhere problems. However, in my case, as someone who has alot of anxiety and occassional paranoia (the paranoia is based on rational facts but then I let my imagination take it too far)--I have read these articles about narcissism and it has worsened my paranoia--I will even diagnose myself as a narcissist yet my children, therapists, etc will say I am the opposite of one. Most of us have a little bit of narcissism in us. I like getting my hair done, putting on makeup, wearing nice clothes, getting compliments and have terrible boundaries (both in terms of letting people violate mine and me sometimes violating theirs) so I am somewhere on the scale. People who rate a 9 or 10 in narcissism (especially if they don't temper their tendencies by adhering to a moral code) are the ones you have to go no contact with. Saying this, I want to say that I have experieced terrifying fear of some of my family members and when my anxiety calms down, I realize some of it wasn't rational. It was based on a grain of truth--my husband has followed my threads on PC many times. I was even able to get him to admit it--so there are things he does that stokes my anxiety. He has told me that many of the controlling things he has done to his family are to protect us. I think he has anxiety too and won't admit it. Sometimes he has been controlling to the point of harming us. I know his motive was that he knows best (as in what would be good and safe for us). Despite how annoying (to say the least) these behaviors are--I love him and need him.

You probably have much better judgement than I do, but for some reason, just wanted to tell you about the struggles I have had about my husband's behaviors. Most of the time, our gut tell us the truth about others unless our anxiety is so out of control that we see boogeymen around every corner.