Kiya I'm sorry things aren't going so well for you now. Your not a monster and you shouldn't let your mom make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself. It's okay to rant and vent..everybody does and it's good for you to vent here. Bounderies are always good things to establish..you just have to keep strong and keep standing up to your mom. She can't control you or keep using you. Keep strong Kiya!!!!