I would recommend the book the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. The tendencies are defined by how we react to internal and external expectations. I see similarities between you and my husband, who is an obliger, meaning he tries to meet expectations of him that other people set, even well beyond what looks to me like people taking advantage of him. I am a questioner, meaning I only am motivated to meet other people's expectations to the extent that they make sense to me.

I know you are very busy and may not have time to pick up the book right now. But it has helped everyone in my family who has read it. It helps you understand yourself and other people, and it helps you strategize how to get better results in your life, given your tendency.

Good luck to you.