A fun detail is that while I was traveling to see my doctor last week I was under enormous stress. After his months of ignoring and since he seemed very angry with me, I was afraid he would abandon me with my disease and I felt nauseous and at the point of hyperventilating. I was afraid to walk into the hospital to see my doctor - I was so afraid I thought I would faint. However: in the train on my way to the hospital a man started talking to me. He was a fun person to talk to and we had a really entertaining conversation. In fact we exchanged numbers. This conversation also distracted me and as a result I walked into the hospital more relaxed and not so stressed.

This past weekend when I felt so stressed about the situation with my doctor I sent this guy a message. I would have waited for his message, but I thought 'whatever', just to distract myself a bit from all the stress. We have started a fun conversation and he called me, and wants to call again. I don't want a relationship because of the serious disease I'm dealing with. But I thought it was fun nonetheless that this contact came out of this stressful situation with my doctor. And I think it is good to shift my focus to other things.