Thanks for all your comments. I’m sorry I wigged out before. It’s just that I am telling you that there is something wrong and it’s not my fault...believe me!

I looked back at all the text messages I had. It was always me reaching out to him once a week. I understand he’s not into calling home, as most college kids would be. It didn’t even dawn on me it was the case until I am really now sensing real abandonment, as he is a young man, planning his wedding.

They are getting married because his fiancé says her family doesn’t want her ‘living in sin.’ However, they have already been living together for over a year. There are more concerning details to this whole thing, that I would like to disclose, and I hate to seem sketchy, but if my son ever found me on here and saw that I had blabbed about him, I’d look awful and he’d be devastated.

He never had a job before this one he got just after college. Yes, we paid for everything. The wedding is in 5 months, so we’ll stop paying everything by then.

Then there is the matter of his car...another outrageous story...where my husband had to promise him to make the payments on it beyond the amount he and his only gf at the time decided was his budget to spend. She was making him return the car we bought for our 23 y/o son! It was his first car. It was the least expensive new Toyota, with 0% financing, big discount for college grad, big further discount I negotiated. It was an awesome deal on a good car with warranty...new car! She was making him return it the next day!!! She wasn’t even engaged to him yet! So, my h promised to pay the couple hundred monthly payment on it beyond his budget after he reaches his ‘allowance’. It’s all just too crazy!

We are not paying anything for this wedding. We don’t want it to happen...but we haven’t said that to him because it will really alienate him. We have been cordial and agreed to make the rehearsal dinner. Although I have not done anything for that yet... still hoping this won’t really happen.

No...this is not a case that I am an overbearing parent with unrealistic expectations from a child, clinging on to his leg, lol.

Yesterday, I texted that we were going to be driving up there next week and would like to see him. He didn’t respond at all, not even to say he’d check his schedule and get back to us...just no response. There will probably be no response at all. It’s just all too weird.

I asked my h if he thought my encouraging him to keep in touch with his parents was crossing a boundary and he said of course not. He said his parents used to write him letters monthly while at school and he’d call when he got them. (His mom liked formality). Once we got married, they were standoffish about calling. I’m not sure why. I honestly think it was because the call was long distance and they didn’t like paying for the call! I know that sounds crazy, but they were from the depression era and that’s how they thought.

I’m hurt and angry with my son, but I’m also concerned for him.

Yes, the hairs on my neck are raised from his fiancé. I don’t like what I am witnessing of her. My youngest son has a gf, and she’s a nice girl who seems normal and they are happy together. I have no issues with her. It’s not me being a jealous mother.