I am in the same boat. Demanding attention from others when I should be 100% focused on myself 24/7 (because deep deep down I know that’s all that can fix my brokenness). I let others push me around, I get my hopes up, I destroy every relationship I feel like I could’ve had a chance at. It’s like I ruin it on purpose, and maybe I do because subconsciously, I know that I shouldn’t be focusing on cute boys instead of myself. So my advice to you is to realize that your subconscious is smart, and tells you what you need. Listen to it, and take it with a grain of salt because your mind can lead you into thinking things that are not real, like believing that a relationship with person X could be perfect if A B and C happens... You are not in total control of the future, but your subconscious is a guide that can direct you in one way or another. I was in a relationship that I subconsciously knew wasn’t going to last, but I wanted to keep it going so badly. BECAUSE, he made me feel some type of way. Good/bad/neutral he made me feel something. I craved his attention, I got over it in a couple weeks and still went back to him. Maybe you just have to accept that you’re going to go against what your subconscious is telling you, but just realize that it is honest and intelligent so you should give more validity to your inner emotions. There aren’t words to explain the difficulty of letting people or ideas go, but if you succeed in your hardest challenges, you are winning. Listening to your subconscious like a best friend could make you strong as hell, if you just do it. It is dirty work, and painful, but if you do it, you will have so much self confidence. If you fail to listen to what your subconscious knows, it’s like proceeding to drive down a dead end even though you clearly saw the sign that says DEAD END. Like what’s the point? Just to see if it’s really a dead end???? Avoid the pain by BELIEVING your subconscious when it sends you red flags. Give it some validity. Just because it’s “imaginary” doesn’t mean it isn’t real. It’s very real. Like Beyoncé says, real things can’t be broken. It will always be there for you. Utilize it! And most of all, trust what your subconscious is telling you, even if it’s just a settle feeling that your mind will push you to avoid. You won’t get a clear dead end sign which is super annoying, but trust your guts, they know what’s good for you. You have billions of cells that work and die for you to be the best that you can be, follow their lead with your mind. Your subconscious always gets straight A’s at the end of the day (most of the time). It’s better to trust them than to find yourself at a dead end remembering those settle emotions... You got a road to follow which will TAKE YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO BE and unfortunately there are thousands of dead ends. Realize that it is MOST EFFICIENT to listen and give full validity to those settle emotions. They will keep you on the path you’re supposed to be on. Theres a reason you feel your subconscious butting into your mind, it tries over and over again to keep you safe. Don’t follow what you want in the moment, follow what you need in the future. Set long term goals, and achieve them over time, you’ll see that your subconscious is worth trusting