Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5
I thought I was doing better. I look better, I talk better, I act better. But as of yesterday I am drinking a little(so far havent told H because he will freak) and not taking my meds after two months on them including one full month of perfect compliance at home. I feel like I cant tell anyone I am suffering because I dont feel like I am but I know something is wrong. My mouth feels sewn shut as far as reaching out for help or putting a pill in it. I havent slept as much the last couple of nights and I am being more social and active but thats what I am supposed to be doing! Driving is faster and music is much louder which maybe would be noticeable if there was someone who seen it. So Im probably not doing better but sure do look that way on the outside...
On the other hand Im not pi** drunk and trying to kill myself right at the moment so it isnt that bad hahaha
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I know you said you feel like you can't tell anyone, but you were brave enough to be honest here. That is a good first step. I'm not an expert, but it sounds like maybe you are experiencing hypomania. You mentioned several factors that fit with that.
It might be time to reach out to your doctor to see about getting back on meds. Hypomania can morph into full blown mania and even psychosis quickly. It may feel good now, but so many of us have major regrets from the things we did while manic. I'd give anything to go back in time and do something about my episode when it was ramping up and before it went too far. Please be careful.