Thank you I felt a bit better after at least putting it out there that Im not doing great. I have now told my H because you are right. Im not manic but Im higher than I am when i am just well. I also left a message for the pdoc. Im still drinking today but decided at least taking my meds would be right. So i took them and decided I would take more seroquel tonight if i dont hear back from her. I love how I feel but i know its not right and losing my family scares me. This ends with me in a cell and then hospital or worse if I dont stop it now before I get completely out of control and I cant have that.